Iron and Wine-Trapeze Swinger

I am in love with this song. It brings back so many memories. For me, it is one of those songs that you find and play over and over for a certain period of your life and then lose it or forget about it. Only to find it later and when you replay it, you feel like you are back in those days, like scent bringing back a memory. ahhh, Bagby, Patrick, wine and too much snow.

I Think I Might Just Sleep FOREVER!

Today was a pretty bad day. I think I might be getting sick. My left ear has been feeling like it is on fire, and now it is moving to my right. This might explain why Patrick and I fought so much today. Little things. Pointless things. You know the type.

My thesis work is driving me nuts. I can't sleep because I am so worried that I'm not doing enough work, even though I know I'm working my ass off. It's like two full time jobs. I had a meeting with my advisors today, and they just soilidified my worries: I need to do more.

I'm feeling stuck with the whole thing. I can make desicions about everything else, except the photos. I'm a photo major and I can't figure out what to shoot!!!! Fuck. At the moment I am photographing what seems like everything - myself, pears, pregnant models, suture wire, medical equipment. BUT WHERE AM I GOING? Do you know? I don't.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.
It feels good to vent.
Better get to bed before my ears fall off from the fire.
I just might sleep forever.

The New Year

Since it's now the new year and that is always a time for lists and life contemplation, I thought I would create two of my own. I read this great article in one of my favorite magazines Real Simple called 10 Ways to Rethink Your Lists by Ben Schott at the gym last night. (A magazine and ipod are the only ways I can force myself onto the stair stepper) One to look back at the last year and pick out all the amazing things about it so I don't feel like it sucked. And one to look forward to this year so I have some hope.
Patrick and I are having a very hard time right now with money so I need something a little up lifting:

The GREAT things I did in 2008:

1. Survived a car accident and realized my car insurance carriers were bastards. No more AMICA for me!
2. Was given the most beautiful ring of my life when Patrick proposed at my favorite restaurant Lovely Hula Hands.
3. Declared I was going to study "Birth" for my photo thesis.
4. Got my series "Half of My Mother" into the Student Juried Show.
5. Drove 998 miles and 15 hours in one day, from Portland, Oregon to Moab, Utah.
6. Conquered the "divorce boat" aka canoe for 5 days with Patrick down the Green River.
7. Played "canoe ultimate Frisbee" (and I would say won) while staying ahead of the floating dead cow.
8. Planned a wedding from scratch with only $5,000 dollars.
9. Moved out of my crappy apartment.
   
10. Had an amazing wedding that was to be honest, better than I thought it would be.
    
11. Survived a backpacking trip with shoes that were to small.
12. Kayaked in Port Townsend with a seasick husband.
    
13. Survived Victoria, BC without spending all my money on touristy unnecessary items.
14. QUIT THE CHEESE!!!!!!
15. Devoted myself full time to my art.
16. Had an honest cry session with my best friend even though I really didn't want to.
    
17. Started a BLOG!!
18. Made a Snowwoman with Patrick.
19. Won two rounds of Pictionary!
20. Thought I was pregnant and had an amazing cry with Patrick (just to be clear I cried not Patrick) when I realized I wasn't. And remembered how much I really love this man.
    
21. Made holiday cookies with Aunt Cec.
22. Planned out every room in our new house even though we don't move til July.
    
23. Worked on my thesis even on Christmas Break. Wow.
24. Found my new favorite alcholic drink..."a redheaded slut"...although I prefer to call it "dirty redhead" (why do drinks have to have horrible names!)
25. Danced, danced, danced the year away.

The things I'm EXCITED about for 2009:

1. GRADUATING COLLEGE!
2. Spending my fourth year with Patrick.
3. Moving to Sellwood and the Eastside.
4. Getting a job in the arts.
5. Becoming a doula.
6. Watching 3 cousins get married and 1 give birth.
7. Having a fitter body.
8. Cleaning out the clutter.
9. Celebrating Patrick getting his contractor's license.
10. Visiting friends that live too far away.
11. Paying off some debts.
12. Really decorating a house because I know we will be there for a long time.
13. Canoeing again (and hopefully not having the toilet in our boat!)
14. Watching Samson play in a fenced back yard.
    
15. Traveling.
16. Feeling spring after a long winter.
17. And simply living life to the fullest I possibly can.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!