The Ultimate Question...

When will this baby come?

Everyone (yes, EVERYONE) wants to know. I am getting phone calls, text messages, emails, facebook posts all about when the baby will be here. I avoid cashiers and sales people if I can, because even they ask "so when is that baby coming? any day now, right?"

AHHHHHH!!!!!

Let me put it as plain as I can: I do not know.

That's right, I am carrying this child but I do not know when it will come. I am just as excited to see the little one as you all are, but no one is giving me any hints to when baby will decide to come. And it makes it really really hard to be patient when someone brings it up every 10 seconds.

So if I don't call you back, its not because I don't love you...its because I do not want to chat about when baby is coming. I'm trying to relax.

I am fine.
Baby is fine.
And I will let you all know when the little one arrives. You can put your money on that.

Its Been a While...

Patrick and I: May 2009
It has been awhile since I have last written and in that time I have gone from that to this:

Same dress, barely fits. September 2009

I know I have not blogged about pretty much any of this pregnancy here. I have actually not blogged about anything. Why? I don't know.

But here I am towards the end and I feel like I need to share. It has been a hard road, harder than I thought it would be. The baby feels like it could be here at any time and I feel so un-prepared. There is so much to do. Car seats to install, birth tubs and supplies to buy, lists to write, etc.

Everyone I had met before I was prego said that being pregnant was wonderful.

Either A: they are all liars. or B: Just my pregnancy sucks.

I got really bad nausea in the beginning and now it is back. I have been feeling sick every morning for a week straight, so yes, I think it is back. I have had horrible acne. To the point where I do not want to leave my home. My body hurts almost constantly. I feel bruised and achy. I have had vivid nightmares and not the sex dreams others spoke of. Okay there have been a couple sex dreams but the nightmares outweigh them easily. And I am tired. VERY tired.

And then there was that bought of depression where I cried daily for no reason, did not want to get out of bed and had suicidal thoughts. NOT a good time if you ask me. NOT the glowing beautiful mother-to-be I envisioned.

I feel now though that I have finally got a grasp on how to be pregnant. I know what to do when the nausea hits, I have found my own system to dealing with the acne and the aches. And I have found a way to attack the depression....creating art, journaling, exercising, increased fish oil and talking, talking, talking about my feelings.

And to keep the nightmares at bay - praying is the only thing that seems to work.

Not liking pregnancy has been a hard thing to talk about. People ask me often "How are you feeling?" and usually I say "Good." Do they really want me to go into all the details of how much this sucks? Probably not.

But I do wish someone had told me. I felt so prepared at the beginning. I had just finished my college thesis on birth...how could I not be prepared? But everything I had heard or read that was about how it felt was all rosy. I think it might be a trick our body's play on us to do this again. I think maybe some sort of hormone or chemical is released during birth to make us want to make more babies.
I was talking to my friend Jessie a while ago who has a three year old. I asked how her pregnancy was, she said it was great. And then I started complaining and she said that yes, she had some of the same problems but it is easy to forget when there is a beautiful baby in your arms.

So I want to document this misery somehow, so if I forget once my body is pumped up on oxytocin from birth and I start craving to be pregnant again, I will have something to remind myself of this time.

I am excited to meet my baby, someone I have lived with yet never met. And I fall more and more in love with my child as it changes inside me. But I do want my body back. I want to feel sexy again. I want to have my emotions in check again.

I am trying my best to enjoy these last days. Days of being somewhat childless. Days of being pregnant. I am trying to focus on the good things about that and not the bad.

But to all you not-pregnant- yet ladies out there: pregnancy is a big jump off a huge cliff, don't be shocked if it is not as sweet and rosy as you think it will be. Some people free fall to the bottom while others hit every rock on the way down. Either way, in the end, you will be a mother. Which is more amazing and beautiful than I could put into words here.

LDM

It's Worse Than You Think.

I am so tired of feeling sick all day long.
I constantly feel like I am going to throw up, or I am throwing up, or at least dry heaving.
FUN.

Everyone knows about morning sickness. But no one told me how bad it could be.
This how my day goes: Wake up, roll over and eat some crackers before I even think of raising my head from the pillow. Get up, go straight to the kitchen and eat something usually paired with yogurt to help my stomach calm down. Make my pregnancy tea. And drink a shot of ginger brew. Take vitamins in the middle of meal to make sure not to get more nauseous. Go lay down in bed with my "throw up" bowl and wait.

Then force my way through the rest of the day feeling extremely nauseous. Sucking on lemons, eating a small meal every two hours with some protein, eyeing the nearest receptacles in case of emergency.

Fun, I know.

People have been asking me a lot lately...."How are you feeling?" My answer is always, "Horrible." And I am thinking in my head: In fact I feel really bad right now, but go ahead, it's okay, touch my stomach, tell me about all the great babies in your life and all the great baby paraphernalia you know of and ask me if its a boy or a girl. I will grin and try not to look to queasy.

I really do want to hear all those things from people. I just really don't want to puke on them and that is hard work.

My midwives and everyone I talk to keep telling me that once I am in my second trimester things will get better and the "good" hormones will kick in and I will feel fantastic. And to keep up the ginger and the eating small meals etc.

Well, I've been in my second trimester for over a week now. No signs of feeling better. It's hard to write this. Reading and writing even make me nauseous.

I just want to enjoy my body again! I never knew how good I had it, feeling well everyday. I want to enjoy food again! And not have to consider everything I am eating as something that might be coming back up. Once it comes back up, its a little scarring, for example, bananas are now so unappealing to me.

Please Lord! Let me get the "good" hormones really soon.


PS: Photos found in local antique store. Love it.

Oh Baby!

Me and Austin circa 1995. I was sooo nervous.

I am going to have a baby.
Okay, I thought I would be used to saying that by now, but um, nope. I'm not.
Yesterday I heard the baby's heart beat. And of course I started crying. It was just so amazing. One of my midwives, Wendy, had told me that it might be to early to hear but that we should just try anyway. As soon as the fast rushing sound of baby heart came out of the little monitor speaker, the two midwives started cheering! They were so excited. I was too, but also um....shocked.

I was shocked that that sound was coming from my body. I was shocked that the baby was really in there. I don't know why, but I expected someone, someday soon would be like....um, Lacy, your not pregnant, your just getting FAT. And then I would nod and say "of course." and life would go back to life.

But nope. The sound of cheers in the little examining room confirmed it. I have had an ultrasound and I have seen the little"bean" shape baby and yet it was the sound that really drove it home. I am pregnant.

Wow. How your world changes when you are growing life.


Me and Mitchell, circa 1997. I look high. I was not.
Everyone wants to talk about the baby ALL the time. Question after question. People touch your belly even if you are not showing, without asking. And suddenly there is this realization that there is something more important than YOU in YOUR body. Okay. I know this sounds really confusing but its true!



Me and Ali, circa 1998. Look how confident I was by this point! That's right, I only need one arm!
I'm not really feeling scared about having a baby. I know Patrick and I will adapt and that we are on the same page with all this. I've had my fair share of baby life. I am more afraid of not getting the birth I so crave. I do NOT want a c-section and yet I know that it could be a possibility. Of course I would do it but only if I absolutely had to. That is my biggest fear. A c-section. I have just done so much research about that particular subject and know more that most.

If I had to do it, I wonder if the docs could just knock me out completely upon request? Let's just pray I don't ever have to ask.

Yeah Baby!!!!

LDM

The End Is Near!

I officially have all of my work in. I still need to clean out my studio, which is soooo sad. I won't have a fully working studio of my own anymore! but that is about it. The show is up at Disjecta and at the Hoffman. The big opening is tomorrow night and graduation is on Saturday! Wow.


I still have to get a keg for Disjecta, dress up and party but otherwise, college is over. Time to face the real world. What a scary place to be in. It's kinda hard to believe I made it through all the hoops they made me jump through this year. Paper - done. Orals - done. Speech - done. Body of work - done. Gallery install - done. Hundreds of pieces of paper signed by hundreds of people - done. Meeting after agonizing meeting - done. I'm DONE!
It feels good but I also have so much time I don't know what to do with myself. My summer job doesn't start til the end of June and only goes through August. I need a project. I need to make something. I just got done making something huge, but still, I need to make more. I guess that's the life of an artist. Make, make, make.

Please join me in the celebration of my thesis work. It only took one year to finish! Friday night, 6-9pm at Disjecta - 8371 N Interstate Portland OR 97217 Free food and booze! www.disjecta.org
The show titled "29."

LDM

Gra-ja-ma-cay-ting!

Me in my darkroom.

Yesterday was really the first day I didn't feel like I was running around with my head chopped off trying to finish this thesis. It was the first day I felt like I had nothing to do and I was so LOST.
I really do have things I can be doing. Lots of things. Like finishing my thesis paper, working on my oral presentation and doing some fine touches to prints and such.
But for some reason because my cabinets were finally hanging on the wall in place of their paper models I felt accomplished.

My messy studio with paper cabinet models.

It's like this weird limbo, where I have more time than I probably need and so I'm not super rushed. I still have work but I still have time too. Or maybe that's just how it feels right now. I feel like I should be looking for a job, but I still have so many school meetings and such that my availability sucks.
My cabinets rusting in the back yard only a few months ago.

It's a weird limbo I will never be in again. I will no longer use the excuse "student." Better use it up while I can.
Graduating from college is a strange strange time.

LDM

Dearest Dad,

I am sorry you lost your job. We knew this might be coming but I hoped it would not really come.
I know you will survive and there are other jobs out there. I know you will always take care of us.
But what a disapointment!
I wish I could help more, you have always taken care of me, I want to take care of you.
As you know, I have no money, but I will help in any way I can.
And I know you are only joking, but if we do all have to move into one house, it will be okay. You are not that annoying to live with.
It is a scary time, but I know we can make it. I am sure once it is known that you are a free man, job offers will be coming left and right, I mean, come on, look at that face!: Dad - Age 9 and soooo handsome!

Dad and Me - 1983

Dad- the basketball champ!!!! - Forest Grove High 1973

Dad with Grandpa and Grandma (nice hair!)

Dad and Carin
Dad - working at Grandma's house ( i love your hat.)

Keep on truckin'!

Love Always,
Your Daughter

Da Vinci

Patrick and I went to see the Da Vinci exhibit at OMSI (Oregon Museum of Science and Industry) AKA the coolest place ever, especially if you are a kid, for his birthday, (hooray for you! birthday!). That's Patrick (above) posing as Mona Lisa.

The exhibit was AMAZING. The first floor was mostly about his journals and inventions. Some where in Italy a group recreated his inventions using his journals. It was crazy to see how many things he came up with, scuba gear, the bike, tanks, helicopters, cars that move on their own, clocks etc. Most of the stuff you couldn't touch but there was quite a few things you could, and then you could see the things he invented in action.

There was a few videos throughout. One about a horse sculpture he made that was destroyed, one on his theory of the golden ratio and the Vitruvian Man (boggeled my mind man), one on Mona Lisa etc.

The second floor was mainly his art and a ton on Mona Lisa. You find out all these things about her and the painting that no one ever teaches you in art history that are really fascinating. Like that she hung in a bathroom for a long time, someone threw a rock at her, and that yes, she did have eyebrows and eye lashes, among a million other details.

So this guy created a camera that could photograph all the different layers of the painting and see in all these hard to see colors (it's really more intense than this but I don't really understand it). After photographing the painting and finding out all this stuff, he can tell us all these cool facts PLUS show us what the Mona Lisa actually looked like when Da Vinci was looking at her.

When you see the mock ups of what she actually looked like, it's stunning. She looked nothing like today. She was rosy and flush and the background was a really beautiful, inviting place. Not the scary dark place behind her now. Actually she looked like she might have come from the Rococo fad. Leo would probably kill me for saying that. But really, the colors reminded me of The Swing, by Fragonard.

I have taken a ton of art history classes and all of my professors failed to mention these details. I have even stood in front of the Mona Lisa myself, and I feel like if I would have known what the OMSI exhibit told me before I went to Paris I would have been so much more interested in her when I stood there, and probably not thinking about all the sweaty people crushed around me.
I am not going to give away all of her secrets. You must go and find those yourself. I will leave you with two amazing quotes I learned from Da Vinci though:
"Art is never finished only abandoned." and "There are those who see, those who see when shown and those who do not see."


Leo, you rock my world.

LDM

The Nest

Dear Newlywed's,

Buy this:The Nest: Newlywed Handbook by Carley Roney

It's been so helpful. That's all I'm gonna say.


Love always,
LDM

Jodi Picoult

I know, she's like EVERYWHERE now. And I totally have the "I knew of her way back when" syndrome. Like when you've been listening to a band forever, thinking they were totally the coolest shit around, and then suddenly said band are all over the radio and you see people wearing said band's t-shirts and riding around with said band's bumper stickers on their car. It sucks. I'm sorry, I wanna share but not with the WHOLE WORLD! And then I get afraid that that horrible thing will happen where said band becomes really cliche and starts writing really crappy "pop" music even if said band did NOT PLAY POP!

This is how I feel about Jodi Picoult. Except she hasn't started to suck....thank the Lord!

Like when Bob Dylan changed his sound and added a band behind him, but all his First Fans thought it sucked and he was a sell out and the Brits boo-ed him. Jodi is kinda like Bob. I still like both their first work and their current work. That is a good thing, cause you know, I'm a First Fan.

I have been reading Jodi since 1998. I walked into a bookstore when I was in the 8th grade, looking for a new book to read. I was totally stumped and lost, I had just finished reading everything John Saul had out at the time and was looking for something fresh. (I have this habit of being totally committed to one author at a time and devouring everything they have published, even if it's only a hundred word tidbit in some obscure magazine when they were fifteen. I'm working on branching out, it's been hard.) So I asked an employee what she would recommend and she handed me The Pact. I bought it on faith, took it home and had it read (I'm serious) that night. The next day I went back to the bookstore and bought as many of her books as I could afford with my allowance.

She soon became my favorite author. I went to her book signing in a little bookstore in Multnomah Village called Annie Blooms Books. I begged my father to go with me. As an aspiring writer himself, it was not hard. I was the youngest in the room. The only girl I would say, all the other people there were definitely women. I was so nervous, but loved every moment of the reading. And at the end, I got in line and she signed my books. I have gone back every year she has come to Portland. She even remembered my name at one signing. I was totally star struck. I asked her a question one time about the ending to her book Salem Falls, it's hard to explain her answer but the way she talked to me was like a real friend. It was wonderful. I even started emailing her if I had questions about certain parts of her stories. She always responded and was always kind.

My favorite book of hers is definitely Harvesting the Heart. I have read it so many times I have lost count. The cover is all faded and worn, about to fall off. It sits by my bed on my nightstand, always. I can't really describe that book, it just always made me feel so normal about having doubts in my life, and that somehow I would find a way, even if I had to run away to find it. It is one of her firsts. On the copy I have her hair is very short and she looks totally different from the picture with her family above.

Tomorrow her new book comes out, Handle With Care. I will buy it tomorrow, even if I have to use all my pennies. Every year I do, it's like an introduction to spring. I am proud of Jodi for being so successful. And like Bob I'm sure the fame won't go to her head, or at least she will keep writing good books.

I hope this book is just as good, if not better, than the last.
Congrats Jodi!

LDM

Her Morning Elegance - Oren Lavie

duh.

Rebecca Woolf, I love you.

Yes, Kels, you've addicted me to the mommy blogs. Well only one blogg-her...Rebecca, after reading her book Rockabye. Geez, I can't get enough, I think it's driving Patrick nuts.....

"In her eyes,...I can see,...something,...something..."

I have to get glasses.

I know it doesn't seem like that big of a deal yet somehow it's all I can think about. Will my work as an artist change now that I can see? Probably. But most likely for the better.

I have been having trouble with blurriness for sometime now but have simply kept putting off going to the doctor since I knew they would tell me I needed glasses. I was prescribed them originally at 16, and never wore the ones I was given, I am now 25 and facing the facts.

I started seeing this squiggly floaty line thing in my left eye, about mmm...two months ago and it worried me. I would have booked an appointment right then, yet I was having insurance issues. Good thing I waited because in the meantime I found a great doctor.

There are many galleries around town I frequent as an artist looking at other artists work (it's part of the job.) but I was required to go to a gallery I had never been to before called Ogle. It was for a class to see some very intriguing work. Turns out Ogle is a gallery and an eye care practice..."art for your eyes" they call it. A wonderful husband and wife team ( Dr. Jeremy Graziano and his wife Valentina Barroso - Graziano (who is an artist also)) run the place.
Since I did not have an eye doctor I looked them up online fascinated with the idea of merging the two professions of a couple into one business. The reviews were good so I went ahead and made an appointment.
Today I went and had my exam. Dr. Graziano and Valentina were amazing. I felt so cared for. I would recommend them to anyone. Although I did find a pair of glasses I liked I could not get them as they were $499 dollars (a LITTLE out of my budget). It was not shocking to me though, since they were a work of art themselves, but it did make me kinda sad to not call them my own.
So now I am on the hunt with my new prescription from the doc for a pair of glasses that suit me and my pocketbook. A hard task I know. If I'm going to have to wear these glasses "regularly" then I better damn well like them.
I'm sure though once our paths cross (and I hope it is soon) it will be love, since I will be able to see what love looks like...I just hope it's not a shock to my system.

LDM

In sickness AND in health...

Patrick and I are both sick.
He came home from work one day last week feeling ill and a day later I was feeling the same. They don't explain to you in marriage counsloring that you will be sharing everything, including sicknesses. It started with a sore throat and has progressed into snot and mucus and green and yellow boogers galore, making being a newlywed oh so romantic. The cold seemed to have made it's way out of our home after we tried to absorb as many vitamins as possiable and eat dozens of oranges and lay around sleeping for 10+ hours. Yet, last night, it caught up with us AGAIN.
I think it was because I thought the cold had left me and continued to work hard on my thesis but drank too much wine at a photoshoot, resulting in lowering my bodies defense and feeling like crap again soon after (which usually happens when I drink too much but I never seem to learn.)
And thanks to said thesis I have a flare up of what my doctor calls "stress ecezma." A lovely rash I get under my arms when I am stressed. The only cure...a steroid ointment. Jeez, sometimes being human is sooo much fun!

Wedding: Our Cake from the Saint

Some people wanted to know, so here it is: We had our cake done at Saint Cupcake.
A wonderful little place in Portland. I had stopped in and had thier cupcakes before and loved them. I'm not a huge cake fan and I always felt the pieces were too big and too sweet at a wedding/birthday/shower. I also hated that you could only get a slice of whatever cake there was at the party but there was a good chance you would not like it.

I called up Saint Cupcake and made an appointment to meet with their wedding advisor. She was wonderful! We got two samples of each kind of cake (when we did not eat them she let us take them home!). And she was very helpful with all of our questions.


Thier cupcakes come in two sizes. Regular size and dot (smaller) size. I can't remember exactly but we ordered enough regular sizes for everyone, about 150 and about 75 - 100 dots. It was really not that expensive for the cupcakes. If you wanted special flavored frosting or special colored frosting/ sprinkles it cost more. We just kept whatever frosting it came with. The kinds of cupcakes we ordered were: vanilla with chocolate buttercream, toasted coconut cream with vanilla cream cheese frosting (my fav!), red velvet with vanilla cream cheese frosting, chocolate with chocolate buttercream, and big top (a vanilla cake with baked in chocolate chips and vanilla cream cheese frosting).
Here is a pic at our wedding (above) without the cupcakes, just the stand. It was a hundred degrees that day so the cupcakes came out right before eating. The stand was a wooden one, that we rented from the shop. It was simple to put together and we put ribbon around the edge to decorate it. It was $35 to rent for the weekend. We also had a friend pick up the cupcakes the morning of the wedding and bring them to the site. We kept them in the fridge till it was time to put them on the stand. Stephanie was my wonderful cupcake transferer! The shop would have delievered but because we got married in the middle of nowhere it was very expensive.
Here is a pic of what they look like on the stand. It was really great to have an interesting cake like this and have so many options. The only thing we did not think of was that people would take more than one cupcake each. There were guests who took multiple for themselves (I will not name names, you know who you are!) and the only bummer was besides the one cupcake we cut and shared, Patrick and I did not get any cupcake and we were a little sad about that....I should've asked my maid of honor Kelsey to go in and wrestle us up some but I didn't think of it and literally they were gone in seconds!!!! The cake total: $235. Good luck, wedding cake hunters!

Dearest,

It's been years.
I can't do this. I must not. I want to run away and find the new things. Search and search until I can figure out this screaming inside. I am trying so hard! Why do you sneak up on me like that? I thought you had gone, my love. I saw the look in your eyes. Was it doubt? We can't turn around and go back. We cannot change our decisions. I knew you were wrong then, I know you are wrong now.

Take me back.

Holly Roberts

Holly Roberts: Painting and Photography

Winter Kill
Frightened Child
Child Being Born

find her at: hollyrobertsstudio.com

Sally Mann

At Twelve
Deep South
Black Eye

Find her: in her books, Still Time, Immediate Family and At Twelve or on video at ART:21

The Osterman's

Wet plate collodion process.
France Scully and Mark Osterman.....amazing!
Find them at collodion.org

Jody Ake

Wet Collodion/Ambrotype
Find him: at jodyake.com I highly recommend his site.

I Cut My Hair!

Okay, every image I can find of pre-hair cut is really bad. But you get the idea...shorter, layered, no bangs, fine hair:

I usually pulled the "bangs" over with a bobby pin to keep them from sliding into view. I was getting tired of this cut so took a chance and looked up a salon online. I found Bliss in SE and Nicole, who cut my hair like this:

LOVE IT! I wanted bangs but was scared because I haven't had them since I was um...12. I also didn't really want a straight bob. Nicole, who was my stylist that I was matched with, listened to my concerns, asked lots of questions which was great, and along the way she even continued to ask me if I liked where it was going. I have very fine hair, sometimes I think I'm balding, and she knew exactly what to do with it. She also asked what products I was using. I told her that I just used ones that other stylists had suggested. She had some of them on her little counter. She asked how they worked for me because she would not recommend those for me and I said, that yeah, they didn't work, I just thought I was using them wrong.
It was very refreshing to have the person cutting your hair really be concerned about getting it right.
I don't like to deal with my hair a lot. I want to spend very little time working on it each day, and so far, it has been wonderful. I put the product she suggested in, blow dry and that's it. Done.
So, Yippee to Bliss and to Nicole!!!!!

Iron and Wine-Trapeze Swinger

I am in love with this song. It brings back so many memories. For me, it is one of those songs that you find and play over and over for a certain period of your life and then lose it or forget about it. Only to find it later and when you replay it, you feel like you are back in those days, like scent bringing back a memory. ahhh, Bagby, Patrick, wine and too much snow.

I Think I Might Just Sleep FOREVER!

Today was a pretty bad day. I think I might be getting sick. My left ear has been feeling like it is on fire, and now it is moving to my right. This might explain why Patrick and I fought so much today. Little things. Pointless things. You know the type.

My thesis work is driving me nuts. I can't sleep because I am so worried that I'm not doing enough work, even though I know I'm working my ass off. It's like two full time jobs. I had a meeting with my advisors today, and they just soilidified my worries: I need to do more.

I'm feeling stuck with the whole thing. I can make desicions about everything else, except the photos. I'm a photo major and I can't figure out what to shoot!!!! Fuck. At the moment I am photographing what seems like everything - myself, pears, pregnant models, suture wire, medical equipment. BUT WHERE AM I GOING? Do you know? I don't.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.
It feels good to vent.
Better get to bed before my ears fall off from the fire.
I just might sleep forever.

The New Year

Since it's now the new year and that is always a time for lists and life contemplation, I thought I would create two of my own. I read this great article in one of my favorite magazines Real Simple called 10 Ways to Rethink Your Lists by Ben Schott at the gym last night. (A magazine and ipod are the only ways I can force myself onto the stair stepper) One to look back at the last year and pick out all the amazing things about it so I don't feel like it sucked. And one to look forward to this year so I have some hope.
Patrick and I are having a very hard time right now with money so I need something a little up lifting:

The GREAT things I did in 2008:

1. Survived a car accident and realized my car insurance carriers were bastards. No more AMICA for me!
2. Was given the most beautiful ring of my life when Patrick proposed at my favorite restaurant Lovely Hula Hands.
3. Declared I was going to study "Birth" for my photo thesis.
4. Got my series "Half of My Mother" into the Student Juried Show.
5. Drove 998 miles and 15 hours in one day, from Portland, Oregon to Moab, Utah.
6. Conquered the "divorce boat" aka canoe for 5 days with Patrick down the Green River.
7. Played "canoe ultimate Frisbee" (and I would say won) while staying ahead of the floating dead cow.
8. Planned a wedding from scratch with only $5,000 dollars.
9. Moved out of my crappy apartment.
   
10. Had an amazing wedding that was to be honest, better than I thought it would be.
    
11. Survived a backpacking trip with shoes that were to small.
12. Kayaked in Port Townsend with a seasick husband.
    
13. Survived Victoria, BC without spending all my money on touristy unnecessary items.
14. QUIT THE CHEESE!!!!!!
15. Devoted myself full time to my art.
16. Had an honest cry session with my best friend even though I really didn't want to.
    
17. Started a BLOG!!
18. Made a Snowwoman with Patrick.
19. Won two rounds of Pictionary!
20. Thought I was pregnant and had an amazing cry with Patrick (just to be clear I cried not Patrick) when I realized I wasn't. And remembered how much I really love this man.
    
21. Made holiday cookies with Aunt Cec.
22. Planned out every room in our new house even though we don't move til July.
    
23. Worked on my thesis even on Christmas Break. Wow.
24. Found my new favorite alcholic drink..."a redheaded slut"...although I prefer to call it "dirty redhead" (why do drinks have to have horrible names!)
25. Danced, danced, danced the year away.

The things I'm EXCITED about for 2009:

1. GRADUATING COLLEGE!
2. Spending my fourth year with Patrick.
3. Moving to Sellwood and the Eastside.
4. Getting a job in the arts.
5. Becoming a doula.
6. Watching 3 cousins get married and 1 give birth.
7. Having a fitter body.
8. Cleaning out the clutter.
9. Celebrating Patrick getting his contractor's license.
10. Visiting friends that live too far away.
11. Paying off some debts.
12. Really decorating a house because I know we will be there for a long time.
13. Canoeing again (and hopefully not having the toilet in our boat!)
14. Watching Samson play in a fenced back yard.
    
15. Traveling.
16. Feeling spring after a long winter.
17. And simply living life to the fullest I possibly can.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!