Oh Baby!

Me and Austin circa 1995. I was sooo nervous.

I am going to have a baby.
Okay, I thought I would be used to saying that by now, but um, nope. I'm not.
Yesterday I heard the baby's heart beat. And of course I started crying. It was just so amazing. One of my midwives, Wendy, had told me that it might be to early to hear but that we should just try anyway. As soon as the fast rushing sound of baby heart came out of the little monitor speaker, the two midwives started cheering! They were so excited. I was too, but also um....shocked.

I was shocked that that sound was coming from my body. I was shocked that the baby was really in there. I don't know why, but I expected someone, someday soon would be like....um, Lacy, your not pregnant, your just getting FAT. And then I would nod and say "of course." and life would go back to life.

But nope. The sound of cheers in the little examining room confirmed it. I have had an ultrasound and I have seen the little"bean" shape baby and yet it was the sound that really drove it home. I am pregnant.

Wow. How your world changes when you are growing life.


Me and Mitchell, circa 1997. I look high. I was not.
Everyone wants to talk about the baby ALL the time. Question after question. People touch your belly even if you are not showing, without asking. And suddenly there is this realization that there is something more important than YOU in YOUR body. Okay. I know this sounds really confusing but its true!



Me and Ali, circa 1998. Look how confident I was by this point! That's right, I only need one arm!
I'm not really feeling scared about having a baby. I know Patrick and I will adapt and that we are on the same page with all this. I've had my fair share of baby life. I am more afraid of not getting the birth I so crave. I do NOT want a c-section and yet I know that it could be a possibility. Of course I would do it but only if I absolutely had to. That is my biggest fear. A c-section. I have just done so much research about that particular subject and know more that most.

If I had to do it, I wonder if the docs could just knock me out completely upon request? Let's just pray I don't ever have to ask.

Yeah Baby!!!!

LDM